A booster to keep you in good humor for a long time to come.

蓝色薄荷

谁不喜欢幽默和欢笑呢？下面是一些精选的英文笑话，调节心情、欣赏语言中的机智与幽默。最重要的是，阅读时的心领神会和嘴角上扬。

蓝色薄荷

Maid: What do you want, sir?
Visitor: I want to see your master.
Maid: What's your business, please?
Visitor: There is a bill...
Maid: Ah! He left yesterday for his village...
Visitor: Which I have to pay him...
Maid: And he returned this morning.

蓝色薄荷

Men who treat women as helpless and charming playthings deserve women who treat men as delightful and generous bank accounts.

蓝色薄荷

When an efficient secretary asked her boss for a raise in her salary, he turned her down, saying: Your salary is already higher than that of the secretary at the next desk. And she has five children...
Excuse me, the efficient woman replied, I thought we got paid for what we produce here, not for what we produce at home in our own time...

蓝色薄荷

Did you giggle yet?

蓝色薄荷

A small farm boy was milking his cow when all of a sudden a bull came charging towards him.  As horrified workers nearby watched, the boy calmly continued his milking.
To everyone's astonishment, the bull stopped a few inches from the boy, turned around and walked away ... Weren't you afraid? One of the workers asked the boy.
Not at all,the boy replied , I knew this cow was his mother-in-law.

蓝色薄荷

A patient complains to a famous psychologist: Professor, I've been having terrible obsessions for years, and no one has ever been able to help me...Who's been treating you until now?...Dr Lal Rathor...I see. He's an idiot. I'm curious to know what he advised you to do...To come and see you.

蓝色薄荷

Overheard: I can say one good thing about airline food: at least they're considerate enough to give you only small portions.

蓝色薄荷

没有掌声是最不可思议的。    隔两个楼再接着发。

andywho

so funny, thanks

梦猫

盖楼

蓝色薄荷

Boy to mother: I’ve decided to stop studying.
How come? asked the mother.
I heard that someone was shot dead, because he knew too much.

蓝色薄荷

Husband and wife were in the midst of a violent quarrel, and hubby was losing his temper. Be careful, he said to his wife. You’ll bring out the beast in me.
So what? his wife shot back. Who’s afraid of a mouse?

蓝色薄荷

A man was driving well above the speed limit when a police car suddenly emerged from behind, sirens blaring. Thinking he’d outpace the cop, the man pushed his accelerator to the floor. His car’s speed rose to sixty, then seventy, eighty, and ninety. Finally, the man thought, what the heck, and pulled over, ready to receive a speeding ticket.
The police officer got out, leaned over the man and said: Listen, Mister, I have had a really lousy day, and I just want to go home. Give me a good excuse and I’ll let you go…
The man thought for a moment and said: Three weeks ago my wife ran off with a police officer. When I saw your car in my mirror, I thought you were that officer and were trying to give her back to me.

No ticket.

月明

dancingpenguin

FCH

蓝色薄荷

An American visiting England walked into a hotel lobby. The lift will be down presently, the receptionist told him. The lift? said the American. Oh, you mean the elevator.
No, I mean the lift... replied the Englishman.
I think I should know what it is called, said the American. Elevators were
invented in the States.

Perhaps, retorted the Englishman. But we invented the language.

蓝色薄荷

A judge looked severely at the defendant and asked, How many times have you been imprisoned?
Nine, you Honour.
Nine? In this case, I will give you the maximum sentence..
Maximum sentence? said the defendant. Don't you give your regular clients
a discount?

蓝色薄荷

A rather inebriated fellow on a bus was tearing up a newspaper into tiny
pieces and throwing them out the window.
Excuse me, said the woman sitting next to him. But, would you mind
explaining why you're doing this?
It scares away the elephants, replied the drunk.
But I don't see any elephants around here, said the woman.
Effective, isn't it? crowed the drunk.