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[闲聊话题] Adult Jokes

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发表于 2008-8-13 18:21:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.'
----------------------------------------

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
'Husband Wanted'.
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
'You can have mine.'
----------------------------------------
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
----------------------------------------
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
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A little boy asked his father,
'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'
Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'
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A young son asked, 'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'
Dad replied,! 'That happens in every country, son.'
----------------------------------------

Then there was a woman who said, 'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late.'
----------------------------------------

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say - talk in your sleep.
-----------------------------------------------------

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
----------------------------------------
'A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death'
----------------------------------------
AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, 'Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy.'
The blind man replies, "If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the
hell up."

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参与人数 2财富 +7 收起 理由
老菜 + 5 洒家倒是有钱,只能给5快。
天狼王 + 2 今天的钱用光了,嘿嘿 意思一下 ...

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发表于 2008-8-13 18:31:45 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2008-8-13 18:41:54 | 显示全部楼层
A young son asked, 'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'
Dad replied,! 'That happens in every country, son.'
亮点
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发表于 2008-8-13 20:04:45 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2008-8-13 20:19:48 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2008-8-13 20:23:52 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2008-8-14 09:06:35 | 显示全部楼层
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
'Husband Wanted'.
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
'You can have mine.'


AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, 'Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy.'
The blind man replies, "If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the
hell up."
这俩没看懂,有高人给解释下?
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发表于 2008-8-14 09:38:32 | 显示全部楼层
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
'Husband Wanted'.
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
'You can have mine.'

一个女士登了一则征婚广告,第二天收到1百封回信,内容都是:找我的老公吧。

AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children.A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, theyfind it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fitonto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, thehusband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man ashe taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, 'Why don't you put a pieceof rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving mecrazy.'
The blind man replies, "If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the
hell up."

这个主要跟计划生育有关,呵呵

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参与人数 1财富 +5 收起 理由
老菜 + 5 多谢。

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发表于 2008-8-14 09:50:39 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 老菜 于 2008-8-14 09:06 发表
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
'Husband Wanted'.
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
'You can have mine.'


AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE
Husband and wife are ...



一女在报摘上登广告:

“需要丈夫!”

第二天收到上百封回信,说着相同的事情:

“我的拿去用!”



丈夫和妻子带着九个孩子等巴士。一会一盲人加入了等待的行列。巴士到站时已超载,只能塞下妻子和九个孩子!

于是丈夫和盲人决定步行。没多久丈夫就被盲人棍棍当当的击地声激怒:

“你为什么不能在你的棍棍头上附块胶皮?烦死了!”

盲人反击:

“如果你在你的棍棍头上附块胶皮,我们正坐在车里呢,请闭上你那臭嘴!”


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参与人数 1财富 +5 收起 理由
老菜 + 5 多谢。

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发表于 2008-8-14 12:30:42 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2008-8-14 15:21:53 | 显示全部楼层
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