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[闲聊话题] Female-Male

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发表于 2008-4-14 23:56:31 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
40-ish..............................49
Adventurous.....................Slept with all your friends
Athletic............................No boobs
Average looking.................Ugly
Beautiful...........................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile................Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure..............On medication
Feminist............................Fat
Free spirit..........................Junkie
Friendship first...................Former slut
Fun..................................Annoying
Gentle..............................Dull
New Age...........................Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded.....................Desperate
Outgoing...........................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate........................Sloppy drunk
Poet.................................Depressive
Professional.......................Bitch
Romantic...........................Frigid
Voluptuous........................Very Fat
Large frame.......................Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate................Stalker
Widow..............................Murderer

WOMEN'S ENGLISH

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

And finally.....

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.
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发表于 2008-4-15 00:03:40 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2008-4-15 00:05:13 | 显示全部楼层
好久不见。

最近胡罗卜涨价了,没受影响吧?
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-4-15 06:32:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2008-4-15 06:53:47 | 显示全部楼层
不吃胡萝卜可以吃青草嘛,青草不要钱。
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发表于 2008-4-15 08:44:25 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2008-4-15 10:54:29 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2008-4-15 11:55:40 | 显示全部楼层
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-4-15 23:33:42 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 apple3800 于 2008-4-15 06:53 发表
不吃胡萝卜可以吃青草嘛,青草不要钱。

每天送到窝边儿来!
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-4-15 23:34:02 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 涩郎 于 2008-4-15 11:55 发表
我英语不好, 有几个没怎么看懂.

有个东西叫字典...
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发表于 2008-4-16 13:04:46 | 显示全部楼层

回复 10楼 的帖子

我是宁愿看不懂也不查字典的.
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发表于 2008-4-16 18:36:46 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2008-4-16 19:18:48 | 显示全部楼层
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