Jokings (it's funny, but not so funny)

兔子

MORRIS AND HIS WIFE, ESTHER WENT TO THE STATE FAIR EVERY YEAR. EVERY  YEAR,MORRIS WOULD SAY, "ESTHER, I'D LIKE TO RIDE IN THAT HELICOPTER."   ESTHER ALWAYS REPLIED, "I KNOW MORRIS, BUT THAT HELICOPTER RIDE IS 50 DOLLARS  AND 50 DOLLARS IS 50 DOLLARS."

A FEW YEARS LATER, ESTHER AND MORRIS WENT  TO THE FAIR.  MORRIS SAID,
"ESTHER, I'M 85 YEARS OLD. IF I DON'T RIDE THAT  HELICOPTER NOW, I MIGHT
NEVER GET ANOTHER CHANCE."  ESTHER REPLIED,  "MORRIS, THAT HELICOPTER IS 50 DOLLARS  AND 50 DOLLARS IS 50 DOLLARS."

THE  PILOT OVERHEARD THE COUPLE. HE SAID, "FOLKS, I'LL MAKE YOU A DEAL. I'LL TAKE  THE BOTH OF YOU FOR A RIDE. IF YOU CAN STAY QUIET FOR THE ENTIRE RIDE AND NOT  SAY A WORD, I WON'T CHARGE YOU! BUT IF YOU SAY ONE WORD, IT'S  50 DOLLARS." MORRIS AND ESTHER AGREED --- AND UP THEY WENT.
THE PILOT  DID ALL KINDS OF FANCY MANEUVERS. BUT NOT A  WORD WAS HEARD. HE DID HIS  DAREDEVIL TRICKS OVER AND  OVER AGAIN, BUT STILL NOT A WORD. WHEN THEY  LANDED, THE PILOT TURNED TO MORRIS. HE SAID, "BY GOLLY, I DID
EVERYTHING I  COULD TO GET YOU TO YELL OUT, BUT YOU DIDN'T. I'M IMPRESSED!" MORRIS REPLIED,  "WELL, I WAS GOING TO SAY SOMETHING WHEN ESTHER FELL OUT,BUT 50 DOLLARS IS  50 DOLLARS!"

兔子

A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things.
They  decide to go to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor tells them that
they're  physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to
help  them remember. Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up
from  his chair. His wife asks, "Where are you going?"
"To the kitchen" he  replies.
"Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"
"Sure."
"Don't you  think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she asks.
"No, I can  remember it."
"Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. You'd better  write it down
because you know you 'll forget it."
He says, "I can  remember that! You want a bowl of ice cream with
strawberries."
"I'd also  like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, so you'd
better write it  down!" she retorts. Irritated, he says, "I don't need to
write it down, I can  remember It! Leave me alone! Ice cream with
strawberries and whipped cream -  I got it, for goodness sake!" Then he
grumbles into the kitchen.
After  about 20 minutes the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his
wife a  plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment and
says  -
"Where's my toast?

兔子

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: "So I hear you're
getting  married?"
"Yep!"
"Do I know her?"
"Nope!"
"This woman, is she  good looking?"
"Not really."
"Is she a good cook?"
"Naw, she can't  cook too well."
"Does she have lots of money?"
"Nope! Poor as a church  mouse."
"Why in the world do you want to marry her then?"
"Because she  can still drive!"

兔子

Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"
Second  one says, "No, its Thursday!"
Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a  beer."

兔子

A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new
hearing aid. It cost me  four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.
It's perfect."
"Really,"  answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"
"Twelve thirty."

兔子

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few  days
later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous  young
woman on his arm.
A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris  and said, "You're really
doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied, "Just  doing what you said, Doc. 'Get a hot mamma and be
cheerful.'"
The doctor  said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur. Be
careful.'"

兔子

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled
himself  slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath, he
ordered a  banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"
"No," he replied,  "arthritis."