How to Give a Cat a Pill Hahaaaa~~

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1)  Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding  a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth  and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As  cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and  swallow.

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2)  Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left
arm  and repeat process.

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3)  Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

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4)  Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear  paws
tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth  with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

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5)  Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe.   Call
spouse from garden.

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6)  Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and  rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly  with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and  rub cat's throat vigorously.

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7)  Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap.   Make
note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered  Doulton figurines from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

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8)  Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head  just
visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force  mouth
open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

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9)  Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of
water  to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove
blood from  carpet with cold water and soap.

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10)  Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat  in
cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth  open
with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

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11)  Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply  cold
compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot.  Throw
tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

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12)  Call fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the  road.
Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid  cat.
Take last pill from foil-wrap.

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13)  Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly  to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed, force  cat's mouth open with small wrench. Push pill into mouth followed by large  piece of filet mignon. Hold head vertically and pour 1/2 pint of water down  throat to wash pill down.

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14)  Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while  doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye.  Call furniture store on way home to order new table.

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15)  Arrange for SPCA to collect cat and call pet shop to see if they  have
any hamsters or fish.

apple3800

It must be a supercat!

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Post by apple3800
It must be a supercat!

Hmmm... I'll try to be a super rabbit... How about a super apple?