札记

UncleTom

或见而不得，或思而不得，辄札记之。幻听幻视，亦记之。

                                         ——汤姆·汤姆

今天天气真好。

韩老师画室

下雨

UncleTom

English edition of preface
Or is seen but no result, or is thinking but no result, immediately and frequently and optionally record. Auditory and visual hallucination, also recorded.
                                                                                                 ——Tom Tom

William

High is really high

Ruibin

no ming feel li

UncleTom

那时候最不喜欢下雨，记忆里，天还总是下雨。哪个孩子喜欢下雨呢？下雨了，满院子的孩子、鸡、老鼠和蚂蚁都被雨赶回到了窝里，贪玩的鸡随便找个旮旯缩着，一个贴着一个。砖道上，泥地上，鸡圈里，丝瓜棚下，全是雨水。没有人在外面玩了，一院子百十个孩子，那些不按计划出生、想来就来的孩子们，此刻一个都不见了。雨水从高处流往低处，在砖道边缘冲出浅浅的沟槽，细细的涓流夹带着细沙从我家门前流过。浑身湿漉漉的，我搬个小板凳坐到门口，等着雨过去。西边邻居一窝女孩子，此刻可能正吵架。东边邻居是知识分子，工程师太太正磨刀，等待惩罚的孩子们不断发出嚎叫，一分钟六次，表示抗议。雨水从屋檐落下来，落到在门前的砖地上，落到它们特定的位置上，激起一个个水泡泡，凿出一排深浅不一的凹坑，清洗着砖头上白色的、顽固的鸡屎印儿。雨有时候从房顶漏到屋里，得用塑料布接着，把它引到摆在墙边的脸盆里。噼噼啪啪，淅淅沥沥，劈劈啪啪，一道一道的雨帘那头，家属院和厂区相邻一带的树木朦胧。起风了，鸡把脖子缩到羽毛里。雨潲进门里，门槛里一会儿便水汪汪一片。孩子离自然最近，一层塑料布都不隔，一变天就感冒，一热就生痱子，一下雨就淋湿，一激动就尖叫。那时候，每间房子也离自然很近，外面冷屋里冷，外面热屋里热，家家户户敞着门，迎接从左邻右舍、鸡圈、天上、地下和虚无里来的一切。

UncleTom

雨以令人不快、非常沉闷的印象留在了童年的记忆里。而后是一个人一生里最不关注自然的一个阶段，赤条条从虚无里走来后最华而不实却最充实的一个阶段，这期间，雨不带一点感情色彩地默默下了多年，直到前些年，我吃惊地意识到，很多年以来，其实雨天才是我最喜欢的天气。记忆以奇怪的方式处理了对雨的印象。
几天前出门，一路有雨。我坐在高铁上，一会儿闭目养神，一会儿看外面的雨景，谈不上享受但也不着急。一段路上，高铁边有蓝色的瞭望塔，三两分钟就看到一个。有些瞭望塔竖在田野边，有些在丛林里，有些在开满了淡紫色梧桐花的村落边。风雨飘摇，瞭望塔岿然不动，窗明几净，十分诱人。我睁着眼做起白日梦，端着手机坐在瞭望塔里，一会儿看看微信，一会儿赏赏雨，月底到财务领工资。
闭着眼分析。雨，液体的，阴性的，滋润的，天上给大地的奶水和蜜汁儿；羊水的，母胎里的，初始状态的，虚无里钻出来的种子……
岁月一天一天催你老，一天一天打击你，让你一边招架一边退行，让你使出吃奶的劲儿仍不逮。
记忆不提供吃奶时的回忆，那一定比坐在小板凳上观雨更甜蜜。


给弗洛伊德的理论一个补充：赏雨的行为具有退化性质，即赏雨者通过观察天地间这种液体的交流使自己希望回到羊水或虚无里的欲望得到伪装的满足。和现代电影理论认为观影和做梦具有相同的心里机制一样，该欲望的满足过程也带有退化的性质，回归肛门期的性质，现实中屡屡受挫之后扔掉成熟的行为方式和生存技能，恢复幼稚、原始的方式满足欲望的性质。赏雨行为通常也是一种沉默的行为，却是一种无声的尖叫，看不见的歇斯底里，但本质上还是欲回归平静，回归不存在。

UncleTom

High is really high
William 发表于 2014-4-30 08:29

                               
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you are higher

UncleTom

no ming feel li
Ruibin 发表于 2014-4-30 08:38

                               
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no clear right away inside？

UncleTom

下雨
韩老师画室 发表于 2014-4-29 23:10

                               
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你咋知道我说的好天气是下雨？知我红姐。

UncleTom

今天去山里。山下有百亩芍药，根茎是药材，正开花，但怕花浪费养分，过几天就要全部拿大镰刀削掉。问地主，为什么不拿花市上卖掉，一支花几毛钱批发出去，几万朵花，也是笔收益。地主说没有人买芍药花。我们说帮他到花市问问，要了他的电话。地主剪了一大堆花给我们。

回城后奔花市，问了几个批发兼零售鲜花的店都不要，说芍药花期短（其实至少可以开一周，管开放的花骨朵可以保持至少三天），不好看（瞎说），从来不卖这个。一堆店主正玩扑克牌，我说一毛一只要不要，人家给送到门前？一个店主说，我们这儿不缺这花儿，你可以到新疆试试。这好像是在调侃我。我说，花农要把这个当垃圾处理掉，很可惜。店主说，那没办法。

真是没顾客？还是芍药一年就开一次，商家懒得寻思一个只能做半月的生意？这里畅销的百合、玫瑰等都得从云南进。

出门看看手里的花，已经蔫了，品相是不好。是花瓣太薄，剪掉后水分丧失太快？

给地主打电话说，抱歉，没人要芍药花。

拿几只插花瓶里，不久花瓣和叶子都支楞了起来。

UncleTom

上网查了下：
芍药可以做干花。
芍药花药用价值：泄热，养血柔肝，强五脏，散恶血，调经。可以治疗内分泌紊乱引起的雀斑、黄褐斑、暗疮。促进新陈代谢，提高肌体免疫力，抑制脸上的暗疮，延缓皮肤衰老。

芍药花的泡法及喝法：一茶匙干燥的花瓣，用一杯滚烫开水冲泡，焖约十分钟后即可;可酌加红糖或蜂蜜饮用。

芍药花茶：芍药花3～5克，用开水冲饮，可调入冰糖、蜂蜜或绿茶同饮。常饮此茶能调节女性内分泌，清热解毒，祛除色斑，令容颜润泽。

痛经或是肝脏不好的人可以吃芍药花粥：6ｇ芍药花，50ｇ的粳米。粥快要熟的时候，把洗干净的芍药花放进去。主要的功效是行血养阴。

UncleTom

三个小时过去，所有花骨朵全开。

UncleTom

第一次一起走野路，去野餐。路越走越窄，越荒凉，看不到人烟了。家人提出种种理由，都要求往回走。山路上上下下，比较陡峭，有些胳膊肘弯车得来回磨几下才能上去，坡起溜车，最后大家说什么不干了，害怕。
看到一只几乎全红的野鸡趾高气扬在灌木丛中漫步，在灌木空隙中一闪而过。过去搜寻无果，但看到一只母野鸡，个头小多了，灰色，平淡无奇。

UncleTom

雨以令人不快、非常沉闷的印象留在了童年的记忆里。而后是一个人一生里最不关注自然的一个阶段，赤条条从虚无里走来后最华而不实却最充实的一个阶段，这期间，雨不带一点感情色彩地默默下了多年，直到前些年，我吃惊 ...
UncleTom 发表于 2014-5-1 00:15

                               
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希望楼主严加防范，退行严重的话可能会发展出咬指甲、吸姆指、尿床等行为，和人交流不说完整句子，或仅说一句话（像某人），最后拒绝起床、说话。

UncleTom

今天去山里。山下有百亩芍药，根茎是药材，正开花，但怕花浪费养分，过几天就要全部拿大镰刀削掉。问地主，为什么不拿花市上卖掉，一支花几毛钱批发出去，几万朵花，也是笔收益。地主说没有人买芍药花。我们说帮他到 ...
UncleTom 发表于 2014-5-1 23:16

                               
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多可爱的小鸡鸡。但加拿大不让养鸡，在城里。冬天没暖气鸡会被冻死。养个鸟冬天也不好办。加拿大很无聊的。听说楼主本来说好是去塔希提的？

UncleTom

多可爱的小鸡鸡。但加拿大不让养鸡，在城里。冬天没暖气鸡会被冻死。养个鸟冬天也不好办。加拿大很无聊的。听说楼主本来说好是去塔希提的？
UncleTom 发表于 2014-5-2 00:13

                               
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是，但一直没有在地图上找到这个地方。

UncleTom

希望楼主严加防范，退行严重的话可能会发展出咬指甲、吸姆指、尿床等行为，和人交流不说完整句子，或仅说一句话（像某人），最后拒绝起床、说话。
...
UncleTom 发表于 2014-5-2 00:09

                               
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是啊是啊，有个熟人退行就比较严重，儿子都上中学了，还总跟大姑娘谈恋爱。有朋友去他单位在他的工作日志上题词：二八佳人体如酥，腰间伏剑斩愚夫。

小黑子

At that time most do not like the rain , the memory , the day it is always raining. What do kids like the rain ? Rain, yard full of children , chickens , mice and ants are the rain back to the nest , the fun just to find a nook huddled chicken , a close one . Brick lane, mud , chicken circles, under wire Guapeng , all rain. Nobody outside play, a yard one hundred ten children , who are not born as planned , kids want to come and , at the moment one is gone. Rainwater flows from high to low point at the edge of the brick road out of the shallow trench , carries a thin trickle of sand flowing from the front of my house . Whole body wet , I moved a little bench to sit the entrance , waiting for rain in the past. West neighbor nest girl, now might be a positive quarrel. East neighbors are intellectuals, engineers are sharpening his wife , waiting to punish kids constantly howling , one minute six times in protest. Rainwater from the roof came down, fell in front of the brick on the ground , fell on their specific location , sparking one water bubble , carved in a row shades of pits , cleaning the bricks on white , stubborn droppings Indian children . Sometimes the rain from the roof leak into the house, starting a plastic sheeting then lead it to put in the wall of the basin . Crackling , intermittent , crackling , one an other end of the rain curtain , family member courtyard and plant trees along the adjacent hazy . Windy, chicken feathers in the neck to shrink . Rain pigwash door , the threshold will be watery in a while . Children from Nature recently , not every layer of plastic sheeting , a makeover on a cold, raw prickly heat on a hot , wet rains , an excitement screamed . At that time , each house is also very close from the natural cold outside the house cold outside, hot hot house , every household the open door , greet everything from the neighbors , chicken rings, heaven and on earth , and nothing in the past.

小黑子

Rain with unpleasant , very dull impression left in the childhood memories . Then a person's life is not concerned about the most natural one stage, the most pompous naked after coming from nothing but a stage in the most fulfilling , during which the rain without a little emotional silently down the years, until a few years ago , I was surprised to realize that , for many years , in fact, is my favorite rainy weather . Memory in a strange manner against rain impression.
A few days ago to go all the way rain. I sat on the high-speed rail , for a moment , eyes closed , while watching the rain outside scene , not to mention enjoy but do not worry. Section of the road , high-speed rail side with blue watchtowers and III minutes to see one. Some watchtower erected at the field edge, some in the jungle , some in full of lavender flowers Indus village edge . Precarious , watchtowers stays , bright and clean , very attractive. I start daydreaming eyes open , holding the phone sitting in the watchtower in a while to see the micro-channel , while tours tours rain , at the end of the financial paychecks .
Analysis eyes closed . Rain, liquid , negative , moisture , heaven to the earth 's milk and honey child ; , nothingness drilled out the seeds of amniotic fluid , the womb , the initial state of the ......
Years Day reminders are old day, day strike day you let your back row while Parry side , so you resorted to feeding effort is still incompetent .
Memory does not provide memories feeding time , it must be better than sitting on the bench view more sweet rain .


Freud's theories to a supplement : reward behavior has degraded nature of rain , the rain that reward those who observe such a fluid exchange between heaven and earth to make their wish to return to nothingness in amniotic fluid or the desire to get disguised met. And modern film theory that viewing and dreaming with the same mechanism as the heart , the desire to meet with the degradation process is the nature of the return of the nature of the anus , and throw away the mature behavior and survival skills in reality frustrated after recovery naive, original way to meet the nature of desire . Rain reward behavior usually a silent act , but it is a silent scream , unseen hysteria, but essentially still want to return to calm , there is no return .