兔子 发表于 2006-2-1 04:28:16

How to Give a Cat a Pill Hahaaaa~~

1)Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holdinga baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouthand gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. Ascat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth andswallow.

兔子 发表于 2006-2-1 04:28:32

回复: How to Give a Cat a Pill Hahaaaa~~

2)Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left
armand repeat process.

兔子 发表于 2006-2-1 04:28:45

回复: How to Give a Cat a Pill Hahaaaa~~

3)Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

兔子 发表于 2006-2-1 04:28:55

回复: How to Give a Cat a Pill Hahaaaa~~

4)Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rearpaws
tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouthwith right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

兔子 发表于 2006-2-1 04:29:28

回复: How to Give a Cat a Pill Hahaaaa~~

5)Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe.   Call
spouse from garden.

兔子 发表于 2006-2-1 04:29:43

回复: How to Give a Cat a Pill Hahaaaa~~

6)Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front andrear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmlywith one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler andrub cat's throat vigorously.

兔子 发表于 2006-2-1 04:29:57

回复: How to Give a Cat a Pill Hahaaaa~~

7)Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap.   Make
note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shatteredDoulton figurines from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

兔子 发表于 2006-2-1 04:30:07

回复: How to Give a Cat a Pill Hahaaaa~~

8)Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with headjust
visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, forcemouth
open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

兔子 发表于 2006-2-1 04:30:18

回复: How to Give a Cat a Pill Hahaaaa~~

9)Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of
waterto take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove
blood fromcarpet with cold water and soap.

兔子 发表于 2006-2-1 04:30:33

回复: How to Give a Cat a Pill Hahaaaa~~

10)Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place catin
cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouthopen
with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

兔子 发表于 2006-2-1 04:30:45

回复: How to Give a Cat a Pill Hahaaaa~~

11)Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Applycold
compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot.Throw
tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

兔子 发表于 2006-2-1 04:30:55

回复: How to Give a Cat a Pill Hahaaaa~~

12)Call fire department to retrieve cat from tree across theroad.
Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoidcat.
Take last pill from foil-wrap.

兔子 发表于 2006-2-1 04:31:09

回复: How to Give a Cat a Pill Hahaaaa~~

13)Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightlyto leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed, forcecat's mouth open with small wrench. Push pill into mouth followed by largepiece of filet mignon. Hold head vertically and pour 1/2 pint of water downthroat to wash pill down.

兔子 发表于 2006-2-1 04:31:20

回复: How to Give a Cat a Pill Hahaaaa~~

14)Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly whiledoctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye.Call furniture store on way home to order new table.

兔子 发表于 2006-2-1 04:31:31

回复: How to Give a Cat a Pill Hahaaaa~~

15)Arrange for SPCA to collect cat and call pet shop to see if theyhave
any hamsters or fish.

apple3800 发表于 2006-2-1 04:35:32

回复: How to Give a Cat a Pill Hahaaaa~~

It must be a supercat!

兔子 发表于 2006-2-1 04:52:12

回复: How to Give a Cat a Pill Hahaaaa~~

Post by apple3800
It must be a supercat!

Hmmm... I'll try to be a super rabbit... How about a super apple?
页: [1]
查看完整版本: How to Give a Cat a Pill Hahaaaa~~