92# 月明
Why?Do you think that only ladys 'English aren't good?
相思树 发表于 2009-5-21 12:20 http://www.ourdream.ca/forums/static/image/common/back.gif
on the controry, i think ladies are good at language. 『呵呵』
your id is so romantic that i thought youwere a lady. sorry. 『大汗』
I didn't get internet in home for a long time. Finaly, it works now, I can use emotion in home, yeah!
jiayi 发表于 2009-5-21 12:53 http://www.ourdream.ca/forums/static/image/common/back.gif
congratulations!『恭喜』
May 21,2009
Today my daughter refused everything: Taking a shower, finishing shower, cutting nail, having breakfast……. No reason, just crying. Both of us had to pretend to hear nothing, just let her crying. My husband was annoyed. Even when my daughter said ‘sorry’, he didn’t forgive her. It’s the first time ‘sorry’ is no useful. And he decided to refuse her playing in the playground this afternoon as a punishment.
Maybe he could success this time, although punishment seems no useful for her from the experience. Last time we didn’t take her playing outside all day. But the effect is not good.Today is same, she refused have breakfast we prepared for her from beginning to ending. Finally, my husband asked me giving her some breads and a bottle of milk. If it is I, I’ll give her nothing except milk this morning. But my husband always afraid she will be undernourished. Although I think it’s impossible, I can’t persuade him.
Finally, I ate the food which is for my daughter. I think it is not so good for a kid eating same thing everyday, although with different meats and vegetables. She didn't like noodle, what else I can make for her breakfast? Do you have any suggestion for me?
Today I looked the posts about education again and sent it to my husband too. Reading is easy but acting is difficult.In one hand, I am afraid spoiling her too much. In another hand, I am afraid she can’t feel enough love from us. It’s difficult to find a balance.The posts address is following: http://www.ourdream.ca/forums/thread-74201-1-1.html
As the parent, I think we have to make the rule for our kids. I have several friends who are canadian. They all make rules for their kids. What the kid can do, and cannot do. For the punishment, one gentleman ask his son to stand close to the wall 30 seconds and he will count according to the microwave. His son is the same age as my son-nearly 19 months.
This is only a example. For chinese parents, we all think our kids are still young and they do not understand what they do. Acturally, they know what they are doing and they pretend to get help from parents. So the canadian education should be working better than what we did.
93# 月明
Although I am in Canada, I have few chances to speak English too. Maybe speaking to ourselvesis a good way. But it seems I am mad『大汗』 .
jiayi 发表于 21-5-2009 12:43 http://www.ourdream.ca/forums/static/image/common/back.gif
Wow, good on you, jiayi, you have written almost a book. congratulations! ADD OIL!
You can try speaking more in the supermarket by pretending to ask simple questions or going to church by striking up a conversation withanybody.
To Zhangyl, I aree with you on children education. But the foreigners care much less about their children, they are selfish.
As the parent, I think we have to make the rule for our kids. I have several friends who are canadian. They all make rules for their kids. What the kid can do, and cannot do. For the punishment, one g ...
zhangyl 发表于 2009-5-22 00:09 http://www.ourdream.ca/forums/static/image/common/back.gif
I can't agree with you more!
During my daughter's childhood, we seldom met the difficulty in her dinner because we have set the rule: if she didn't take the breakfast, she had to wait till lunch to get another food. Nothing else would be available between breakfast and lunch. Samething went with lunch and diner. Once she suffered starvation for one time, she would never want to try it again.Only we needed to do was to stand her crying and keep our words.
Besides, she was not allowed to eat at dinner table if she behaved bad during dinner time. With bad behavior, she could only take dinner at coffee table because our rule for eating was: only well-behaved person is eligible to eat at dinner table. So my daughter had to try her best to keep good behavior during dinner time to avoid losing her eligibility of eating at dinner table. It was very funny!
Sounds a little bit ruthless. But I always believe that it's of the most importance for parents to teach their kids proper rules. Over-spoiling will hurt them in the future. I love my daughter, but I pay more attention to induce her to follow good living rules. Love never equals to give kids everything they want. Maybe that's also the reason why my wife always call me cold-blooded. I don't mind being a little bit cold-blooded if it's good for the growth of my kid. :-D
I can't agree with you more!
During my daughter's childhood, we seldom met the difficulty in her dinner because we have set the rule: if she didn't take the breakfast, she had to wait till lunch to ...
闲云 发表于 2009-5-22 03:01 http://www.ourdream.ca/forums/static/image/common/back.gif
The parents like you in China are not very popular due to grandparent caring about their grandkids.
For the parents, we can understand what we do and use our own way. While for grandparents, they want to use their ways that were used for caring us.
Sometime the opinion from grandparents can affect what we want to do. You are a good dad. I just started to learn how to become a good dad.
I will learn from any sources and show my opinion to someone else.
本帖最后由 杀破狼 于 2009-5-22 04:05 编辑
Hi, jiayi, you have done a great job here! Both you and XianYun(Relaxing Cloud? :-D) have "PERSISTENCE" by writing diary almost everyday. To tell you the truth, I like yours more and I never read his diary. (I wish i could understand French:-D)
Just a little suggestion, which I believe is useful, for improving English: keep the verb tense consistency and sentence structure consistency.
For example,
"To have plans, Brave, positive, not easily give up, try their best to find the way solving the problem instead of complaining. And, I think it’s the most important thing."
I believe "To have plans, to be brave and positive....." or "Having plans, being brave and positive...." would be better.
I will give you another example (from another website, clearly explained):
http://www.towson.edu/ows/tenseconsistency1.jpg
By the way, how old is your daughter?
The parents like you in China are not very popular due to grandparent caring about their grandkids.
For the parents, we can understand what we do and use our own way. While for grandparents, they wa ...
zhangyl 发表于 2009-5-22 03:43 http://www.ourdream.ca/forums/static/image/common/back.gif
Thanks!
I agree, in most cases, grandparents can't give good family education to their grandkids. That's the reason why we had decided to take care of our daughter by ourselves. Even so, there did happen some conflicts between our parents or parents in law with us. But we sticked to our rules. In our family, my kid had to follow our rule, not her grandparents'. Maybe that's another characteristic of cold-blooded person.:-D
After my daughter joined elementary school, we made another important rule. Thus she had the freedom to make any reasonable decision for herself, but she had to persist in doing what she had decided. We would never forgive any kind of 'giving up halfway'. Like we always said, 'if you don't respect your own decision, nobody else should respect that'. Several years ago, my daughter had made the decision by herself to learn swimming, playing Er Hu, etc. She keeps learning and practising them through these years. As a matter of fact, she swims better than me now. She has also played Er Hu at a school show. We're very proud of her!
At the same time, we tried our best to avoid forcing her to learn something. Seems like our rules are running well till today. I believe that she will benefit from her family education in the future. Maybe I am a father with too much self-confidence. :-D
To Jiayi,
I think noodle isn't good for breakfast everyday,what if it is you. Don't care the nutrition of kid's breakfast, kids can get nutrition from other way everyday. But the milk and egg is important for everybody,including in adults.
hot thread, leave paw!
104# zhangyl
Excellent suggestion!
I always think it's too early to make rules for my daughter. Your example encouraged me. It's time to make some rules now. I should make it with my husband together. Just like you said, kids know what they are doing. And they are very clever, once they found there are different opinion between the parents, they will make use of it. Some times they are cunning:-D
105# William
Thank you. I am so glad that I have writen the diary here. I gain a lot: encourgaement, correction, the experience of learning English and living......
I appreciate all of you , Thank you very much.
106# 闲云
I can't agree with you more!
That's what I thought but I still don't make it a rule. Your experience is very useful. The rule you made is perfit, I can follow it. Thank you very much.
The big problem is how to let my husband cold-blooded more. He always worries that his daughter will be undernourished. I asked him gave me a period to have a test, but the tests were alwaysinterrupted by him.Some times it almost touch off a home war. For the peace of family, I give it up provisionally.
I will ask him read your essay, we should be in accord with each other first.
Thanks again for your experience.
107# zhangyl
Exactly. That's why we insist on taking care of the kid ourselves. Just like my husband said: 'It's our responsibility. '
I think you are a good dad too.
To tell you the truth, I like yours more and I never read his diary. (I wish i could understand French杀破狼 发表于 2009-5-22 04:01 http://www.ourdream.ca/forums/static/image/common/back.gif
You have a good sense of humor. I read his diary several times and read his reply carefully, I can recognize most of them--- in letters:-D .
Your suggestion is very good for me. Thank you very much!I'll try to avoid same error.
My daughter is almost 2 years old:-)
110# 相思树
Thank you for your suggestion. My daugter don't like noodle, I always make porridge with fish(/egg/meat) and vegetable. Later, have a bottle of milk. But I think always porridge is not good. In fact ,if I eat them everyday, I'll be sick of it.
From your suggestion, I should do following:
1. making some rules and obey them
2. improving cooking competitions :-D
111# Ruibin
Is it bear's paw?:-D
109# 闲云
You are not a good dad. You are a excerllent dad! :-D
I learn a lot from you. I wish you can live happily with your family soon. Maybe in summer vacation?
i learn from you all. i did not do well in setting a rule for my son when he was young. i sometimes scold him for his bad habits, but i scold myself more for not giving him a good example. 『大汗』
in fact, he is a good boy except some little flaws. in a mother's eyes, her child is always the best.i am a spoiling mother. :-$